I am sure that every artist goes through times when they suffer from artistic melancholy. I would have to admit, that has been the case for me for past several months. For me personally, photography started out as way to express myself during a dark time in my life. I was dealing with the deaths of several of my close family members, my mother's diagnosis of cancer and all of the feelings of helplessness and sorrow that accompany times such as these. Photography became my outlet; a way to see the goodness and beauty that surrounds us on a daily basis. It became something that consumed my thoughts, in a good way. Looking back now, maybe it was an escape of sorts.
I was learning how to operate my camera, I was learning about the basic rules of photography, I was learning how to tell a story through an image! I guess it took my mind off of all the hard things I was dealing with in my personal life. It was a great distraction in a lot of ways. I have always tried to be a person that focuses on the positives; photography helped me to do just that. It gave me direction and passion.
Somehow in the past several months it seems that I have lost that passion. I see glimmers of it every now and again. But just as quickly as it came, it seems to fade away. When I put myself out there and shoot something I tend to focus on the flaws of the images I have captured.
I miss that passion that I used to have. I am not quite sure how to get that back. I read somewhere once that when an photographer captures an image he shows a little bit of himself. Well, if I could sum up how I feel right now, I think the image that would represent me is a tree, stark and barren in the winter months. Hopefully, this is just a time of hibernation for me. I am hoping that my Spring will come, my leaves will come back and I will burst forth with new passion and dedication to expressing my little view of the world.
1 comment:
Well said, Erin. I think the identity of the artist is so intimately connected with creativity that to NOT be able to create creates melancholy! It is a vicious cycle. Living out creativity not only enables us to deal with hardship when it occurs, but by the very act of doing it, it prepares us to be able to cope even before grief becomes a reality. When the creative spirit of an artist is nourished by the very act of creating, our ability to withstand distractions and painful experiences is increased. In a way, creativity is a spiritual exercise. I think it honors the heart of God because at his heart he is the ultimate creator, and he placed a portion of his creative spirit within us so that we might share in his delight. When you snap a picture you not only reveal a piece of yourself, but you reflect a piece of God’s creative spirit within you. I definitely hope that the geyser of creativity springs up in you again very soon because you sure do make beautiful pictures!
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